My homeschooling adventure is similar to so many, yet so different. I first began thinking about homeschooling when my oldest daughter, Hannah, was beginning her second grade year in public school. Homeschooling was never anything I had even considered! My oldest child, Taylor, who was in his fourth grade year of public school, had always shined and done well. He was what I call "the cookie cutter kid". You know the one that fits into the public school mold easily? That was him. He followed the rules, he learned the way the teacher taught the other twenty-some children, he made excellent grades without studying, etc. Hannah wasn't.
Her second grade teacher assured me three days into the school year that my daughter would surely fail the second grade. This person was convinced Hannah wasn't ready and easily convinced me too. I trusted her and the school. After all, they had Teaching Degrees and Early Childhood Development Degrees and assured me that they knew what was best for my child. I knew Hannah didn't learn easily. Things that Taylor sailed through were nearly impossible for her. Spelling lists that I never had to study over with Taylor took up our entire evening with Hannah. She would know the words and then fail the test. It was frustrating for her and me. I talked to a friend's mother, who was also a public school teacher, about homeschooling my child. She assured me I wasn't qualified to do so and that public school was the best option for my child, especially if she needed extra help. My gut feeling was that she was my child, and I had her best interest at heart,,,,, I would do whatever was needed for her to learn the way she needed to. Instead, I went against my gut feeling. We changed school districts and surprisingly Hannah did well. She DID pass second grade that year, as well as third and fourth grade!
Elementary years passed and turned into middle school years. I had my third child, Emma, who is six years younger than Hannah and nine years younger than Taylor. Middle school years were becoming tougher. Not only were my kids going through their pre-teens, but my husband found himself without a job and I entered the workforce again after having not worked since Hannah was 3 years old.
By the time Emma began Kindergarten Hannah was in 6th grade and Taylor was in 8th. My "cookie cutter kid" started being bullied at school and even got into a fight and was suspended. Soon after the school year began I found out that I was pregnant with baby #4. We were so excited, but 8 weeks into the pregnancy I miscarried. I felt so out of place. I hated my job! I wanted to be home again!
Three months later we conceived baby #5 and that's when the homeschooling wheels started turning again. We were rushing here and there constantly. We ate almost every meal out. Weekday evenings were filled with homework and sports practice and with my growing belly I was exhausted! It's sad to admit, but being the honest person I am I will. I LOVED my kids, but really didn't LIKE them! In actuality, I didn't really know them. Taylor was becoming rebellious (more so than I would've imagined), Hannah was in the middle of pre-teen angst and Emma, the baby, now thought she was being "replaced". Taylor's grades were slowly dropping from straight A's to mostly B's and C's. He got into another fight. He was hanging around kids that I knew weren't good for him. Hannah rarely ever made B's, but more C's and D's. She had friends, but some of them were questionable. Emma was doing well, but I missed being home with her. She was the only one of my kids that I had spent the majority of her infant and toddler years with. I felt like I was missing out on my kids lives and knew that before I could turn around they would be gone.
Halfway through the pregnancy I decided that I would not return to work and began to talk to my husband about homeschooling our kids. He was a little trepidatous at first, but I assured him that I was invested in our children and their futures. If public school was nearly failing our kids, how much worse could I do? After talking to the ONLY person I knew that homeschooled and praying fervently I decided to take a leap of faith and do it! That fall I would begin homeschooling Hannah, beginning in the 7th grade and Emma, going into 1st grade. Taylor was entering his freshman year of high school and was playing football, so we made a pact. As long as his grades and behavior were good he could remain in public school, but I warned him that at his first mistake he too would be coming home!
I was excited, but scared. Emma thought I was the best mom ever, but Hannah didn't even like me, nor did I her! We purchased curriculum and hated it! Bought more and hated it, but we kept working diligently. We knew we would eventually find our niche plus we had a new baby coming and we wanted to take the whole month of December off to bond.
The baby did come! Three weeks early! On the date of my baby shower, November 19, 2011. Instead of getting baby gifts we got the baby! We were so overjoyed with Matthias that we took the rest of November AND December off! We had worked hard to be able to do so. I hated the thoughts that if we hadn't started homeschooling my girls would have missed this precious time with their baby brother, because that's what Taylor was experiencing.
Taylor was doing alright, but his grades were slowly falling. He got into another fight, and his Science teacher called to tell me that she had allowed them to listen to their Ipods, but his was the loudest and she needed me to stop him! He had also learned about the human anatomy in a way that I NEVER wanted my kids to know (that's an R-rated story that I won't share here!). That was it! I had taken all I could! I pulled him from public school kicking and screaming! He did not want to be homeschooled! "Those kids were weird," he would say! His first day of homeschooling began with a field trip to the NASA Field Office in Fairmont, WV. He was sold!
We are now in Taylor's senior year! He's worked a nearly full-time job now for over a year while juggling his school work. At his interview they were more interested in how homeschooling worked than what qualified him for the job! I feel this has better prepared him for the real world. Many times I've told him this is how you balance going to college full-time while working full-time. He's still undecided as to what he wants to do career wise, but he's making better choices. He's no longer around all those kids that he had to look cool in front of. He's free to be himself!
Hannah is now a sophomore and is thriving...finally. We stumbled upon the Charlotte Mason style of teaching and have taken to it like a duck to water. If only I had found good 'ole Charlotte a few years ago. Homeschooling has enabled her to volunteer through the week at a clothing closet run by our church, and she loves it! She is a free-spirit and a natural singer and musician (now I know why her mind works differently). I'll never be surprised where the Lord takes her. And I not only love her as my child, I LIKE her! Emma is now a 4th grader. She loves to read and do science experiments. We all volunteer weekly at a food pantry and pack backpacks to send home to children who would go hungry otherwise.
This homeschooling adventure has been more than I bargained for many times! I tell new moms the BLATANT truth. It's not easy, but it's worth every single second! My only regret is that we didn't start sooner, but we are too busy having fun to live with regrets. Even our worst days aren't so bad that we can't or won't go on. We've stopped working many times and taken breaks, some for a few minutes and other times we've called it a day by noon! We work through snow days and go sledding after we are finished. Our motto is we take sunny days off instead!
We finally found curriculum we love! We can follow after what interests us. We love homeschooling! My best advice to all homeschooling moms is do what works for YOU and YOUR FAMILY! Every homeschool looks different. Don't compare yours to mine. Ours changes every year. We are always tweaking to make it work even better for us. Also, find someone you can share your struggles with and don't be ashamed to. Listen to your still, small voice, your gut feelings. Scripture tells us to "confess our faults, one to another". Exposing the enemy and his lies will bring freedom!
Lastly, don't let anyone tell you what is "best" for your child. They are yours and you know them best. Believe in yourself! You can do this.
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